Programming is still more than tempting: you set your sights on it and look for your future in the much-vaunted IT sector…
Our guest today is a programmer with 20 years of experience! He chose this path long before it became fashionable and so alluring. Until he realized he was tired of spending his time in front of computers, and that what he enjoyed most was being among children.
So, defying every stereotype, Bogdan decided to earn his living by looking after kids. It makes him happy and gives meaning to his days. The thought of going back to computers doesn't even cross his mind; for him nothing is more meaningful than the time spent with children…
Isn't it time we rethought a few clichés?
“You Get Up and Keep Going”
I find it hard, I admit. To see a little one who has tripped and is crying, and instead of rushing over to comfort them, to encourage them with words to get up and carry on.
It's not only true for the little ones; life is like that too. You fall and you get up, for as long as you can. Every fall makes you stronger and prepares you for the next time you rise. Bogdan Tsenov's story reminds us of that. I read about him on the site ladyzone.bg and grew curious to talk with him. About children, about new beginnings. About how important it is to choose your own path, the one that brings you pleasure and meaning.
He was drawn to technology from an early age. In 2002 he graduated from TUES, a specialized high school of the Technical University of Sofia whose students leave with everything they need to start working as programmers. Right at that time, however, he ran into a serious health problem. He spent weeks in the hospital, and the doctors were adamant that within five years at most he would be able to move around only in a wheelchair.
But Bogdan decided to get up. And to keep going. Twenty-two years have passed since then; he has been successfully battling his health problems, and not only is he not in a wheelchair, he is perfectly able to look after children and play with them in the park. He put his faith in alternative medicine, and his experience has turned out more than positive.
The Child Within
After high school he went on to the Technical University. But well before he received his diploma, he was already earning his living as a programmer. First he worked in his own company, then he moved to former clients… And so he stayed at the same company for 13 years! “It worked out well, it was stable,” smiles the “retired” IT specialist.
He specialized in technologies built around the PHP language, loved his work and found it opened up plenty of opportunities. Almost the entire time he developed online stores and other complex platforms. And he felt good—which is why he stayed with the company so long. He was the only programmer building the sites, and his bosses valued him. Well, since the system kept working, they had no wish to switch to more modern technologies, even though the software world had meanwhile changed from the ground up.
In the meantime Bogdan found love, and exactly ten years ago his daughter was born. His wife was also in IT, the family was happy, the little one was growing… and then came covid.
My Childhood, Real and Magical
“They locked us up at home to work. We looked at each other and looked at each other, and at some point it became clear that we had to part ways,” he recalls. He and his wife discovered they couldn't go on together, and soon the divorce was a fact. At the same time he felt inside that it was time for a change… He was tired of 20 years of programming without learning anything new, and the stress was becoming too much for him as well. “All that stress affected my health, which I was trying to hold together, to stay away from the wheelchair.”
Freshly divorced, Bogdan was also left without a job, but… his soul was at peace. For a few months he lived on his savings, until the question rose up in all its weight: Where to now? He was fed up with computers; he wanted to be around people, to breathe fresh air, to take care of his health, to have time for his daughter… And yet his experience and education were so closely tied to computers that there seemed to be no way out.
“When have I felt happiest?” our hero asked himself. And the answer came quite naturally. When his daughter was tiny, he spent a lot of time playing with her, watching her grow and learn new things… Couldn't he earn his living doing something like that?
Mary Poppins
“Yes, programmers are well paid, but the pressure is enormous too. Hurry, deadlines, new technologies. I told myself: ‘No, this isn't for me, I need something calmer.’ And what could that be? Children! We get along really well; for me the time with them isn't stressful, I feel great, we play, we talk, we learn.”
The idea came to him while he was visiting his parents. They suggested he seek advice from the woman who had looked after Bogdan himself when he was little. And she was blunt: there is huge demand for babysitters. Contrary to the stereotypes, many families specifically look for men, for one reason or another. Mostly middle-aged, calm, caring toward the kids. Just like him…
He found his first “job” minutes after posting his ad online. At first it was acquaintances who trusted him; then they began recommending him…
Before he knew it, two years had gone by in which Bogdan has earned his living babysitting by the hour. In the first months he went from home to home; gradually he set up a small center, where today he looks after four kids at a time. The new venture is clearly to the liking of his daughter too, who helps out, has fun with the little ones and teaches them new things. She is drawn to acting, and playing with the kids does her good.
A Child's Joy
For now he definitely doesn't miss programming. “The moment I decided to work with children, the first thing I did was make a web page. A babysitter with a website. So I write code for fun, and sometimes my old job calls me for some small fix.”
“As a programmer you create projects, people use them, something remains. But when it becomes an obligation, or you have someone breathing down your neck telling you how everything should be done, at some point it starts to weigh on you,” Bogdan says.
He doesn't rule out returning to the profession one day, but for now he has no desire to. And still, life can always surprise us. “Do you think ten years ago I imagined I'd be working with children?!” he smiles.
His first “client” was a three-month-old baby, whom he looked after by the hour for a year and a half. The children he cares for are younger than six—he decided so because after that it matters that they be in the hands of someone with the proper training. They spend their time playing—when the weather allows, you can often spot him with his charges in South Park in the capital, Sofia.
They learn to draw, to write, to solve puzzles. They read favorite books together. They model plasticine, cut with little scissors, make collages. Despite the babysitter's IT background, there's no electronics anywhere around—no singing toys, no TVs, no phones.
My Dear Little Giggler
“Children are so energizing! Even just watching them grow… One little girl was almost a baby when she started coming to me, and now she can put together a puzzle, draw, write a little. They grow up, and it's such a pleasure! It's like with a website—you start from zero, and in the end you have something good, meaningful, useful.”
But where does the stereotype come from that children should, almost by default, be looked after by women? It isn't hard to trace, but it's certainly worth questioning these days. Bogdan is often contacted by single mothers who want the male role to be present in their children's upbringing somehow.
“Maybe it's harder to be a man in this profession, because you run into people's fears. When you say a ‘male babysitter’ changing diapers, they get scared, and to me that's strange,” Bogdan says. And he goes back to the time when he and his wife had to choose a woman to help them look after their daughter. There were two candidates, and they invited them home to get acquainted. The first was an experienced teacher with a serious résumé… but as soon as she entered the room, the child hid. The second had no special training, yet she won the approval of her direct “employer” at once: the girl stuck to her and they began to play.
Children have a feel for people and are best able to choose whom they feel at ease with, Bogdan is convinced. “That's what matters most, that the child senses it. When they're small—three, four—it's important that they feel good, that they trust this person, and don't feel almost as if they're being punished.”
With Children at the Seaside
That's how a single mother of two kids chose him; the children were quite mischievous and would hardly have been left with an elderly woman. He copes, though, and being an outsider makes it easier for him to set boundaries.
“Very often, when a woman is looking after a child and it falls, she immediately starts wailing: ‘Oh dear God, what happened!’ Whereas it's easier for me to say: ‘Didn't I tell you you'd fall? You get up and keep going!’”
Looking after children who aren't your own turns out to be interesting. “Everything is radically different. My own child can always get under my skin somehow and get what she wants. With someone else's, the emotional bond is very different. The fact that the child is sitting there bawling, throwing a tantrum, whining—it doesn't move me. We go by the rules.”
Anyone who has looked for help with childcare knows how hard it is to find someone you can trust. From his experience Bogdan is convinced that there should be many more good people taking on this role. And men in particular. “Who should go into this profession? Someone who loves being with the little ones, who is gentle and attentive with them—children like such people. I see many people looking after kids, and it's obvious the kids irritate them… That's a problem! Yes, it's tiring, I get tired sometimes too, but you still always have to treat children well.”
Never to Grow Up
And so today Bogdan sometimes… hires a woman to pick his daughter up from school while he looks after the kids entrusted to him.
He is convinced the change came at just the right time, and today he certainly feels happy. “Things fell into place the way they should. The money that came from IT was very welcome. Now that my daughter is older, it's different. That was the right moment for the change. And it is risky—you drop everything you've built and set off to build something from scratch.”
So what does the programmer who chose to become a babysitter dream of? “To keep my peace of mind, my place. To do useful work for someone and at the same time feel fulfilled by what I do. Looking after children gives me all that, and I'd be very glad to keep doing it.”
What is happiness? I have a universal answer. Go to the park and sit down for a while. And watch the children playing their favorite game…
